I don't really know what to say.
It's been a crazy semester. AP Comp was not the sole source of the craziness, but it was probably the most grueling. It's amazing the difference it makes in how hard work is whether or not you like what you are doing. It was probably even more pronounced for me because I have somewhat of a motivation problem. Even so, AP Comp was hard mostly because I didn't like it, not because it should have been difficult. I refuse to focus on the negative in this last blog post, though, so I won't go in to why I didn't like the class.
That crazy semester? It's done. Finally. I'm finished applying to colleges. I haven't heard back from most, but I got my first acceptance. I will be going to college. That's an awesome feeling. The future I've been looking forward to is rapidly turning into the present.
I'm done with AP classes. Not just AP Comp. I'm done with the annoying pre-organized papers in AP Gov. Because all arguments have exactly three reasons supporting one side and two supporting the other. I'm done with the infuriatingly tedious lab reports in AP Physics. My line of best fit isn't straight enough? Oh yes, I deserves that B. Definitely.
All of the extra busyness that has plagued my life this semester is finally starting to organize itself into predictable little bunches. I'm starting to feel like I have control over my life again. I'm not inches away from a mental breakdown. I have free time. (!)
And I really don't have anything I can complain about. However much my sleep schedule suffered, my grades didn't. I got my A's in AP Gov and AP CoGo, and I got my A+'s in physics. I got my A-'s in AP Comp. The hardest A-'s I have ever earned. Why don't the A's and A+'s feel more like accomplishments? Do I set my standards too high? I don't think I do.
The A-'s in this class are my first A-'s in two years. If it were any other class I would be mad at myself. But it's not any other class. It's the hardest class I've taken or will take in high school. By far. Linear Algebra and Differential Equations is going to be a piece of cake compared to this. Out of all the classes I've ever taken, this is the only one in which I've been satisfied with my grade. Why? Because in all other classes, every single point below perfect was not meeting expectations. People get angry at me all the time for it, but yes, I am UPSET when I get a 99. In this class, though, I had different expectations. I expected B's. Because that's all I thought I could do, based on how I evaluated my skills. That created feelings I've never really had before. The feeling I got when I checked skyward and found out I got an A on the revision essay, and didn't drop to a B+ for the term is one of the best I've had in a while. I not only met my own expectations, I exceeded them.
Not only is the crazy semester over, the next semester is going to be awesome. One last semester. I get to have two of my favorite teachers from previous years, Mr. Skerbitz and Mr. Bordwell, again. I'm actually excited for all my classes. I'm excited about having a math class again. I'm excited about having spanish again. I'm even excited for Mo Pro. Yes. I am looking forward to it, and not just because I have Mr. Bordwell.
The future is bright.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Our minds are crazy
For our BLA this term, our group read the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. This book was all about how our mind works in very short windows of time–how we make quick decisions. He called this "thin slicing". I thought it was an extremely interesting view of how our minds work. Previously, I would have believed that I am in control of my mind, but now I know that I am not, really. Many major decisions are the result of my subconscious mind. One example that stuck out to me was racism. Sure, we don't act racist, but there were tests done that showed that everybody has a somewhat racist subconscious. This threw me for a loop for a little bit, since I don't like the idea of being racist at all, but being aware of how it works was interesting.
The documentary that we watched was called How to Make Better Decisions and it was made by the BBC. This documentary, instead of focusing on what happens when we have to make decisions, focused on how we can be affected in the decision making process. For example, you can be primed by holding something hot or cold that will make you make a different decision directly afterward. You can also see into the future! (maybe) This was a different view than Blink because it didn't take into account how our brain works on the subconscious level, but it added a lot of useful information that I will use in conjunction with what I learned from Blink.
The main thing I got out of these was that psychology is complicated. Yes, it sounds stupid. But I did not know how complex our mind could be. We need to recognize that sometimes, what our brain does is not under our control. We should know that our brain is capable of much more than we think it is. We should be on the lookout for attempts to manipulate our brains. Also, we can't have just one philosophy for the way our minds work. Different methods work with different situations, and its important to know what works well when.
Overall, I am very glad I read this book and watched the documentary. After really not enjoying the BLA last term, actually getting a good book this time around was a pleasant change. I had read another Malcolm Gladwell book recently, so I knew that this one would be good as well. The documentary was done as part of BBC Horizon, which is a program (or a programme, I suppose, as it's British) that makes tons of wonderful documentaries, of which I have seen several, so I knew the documentary would be good too.
The documentary that we watched was called How to Make Better Decisions and it was made by the BBC. This documentary, instead of focusing on what happens when we have to make decisions, focused on how we can be affected in the decision making process. For example, you can be primed by holding something hot or cold that will make you make a different decision directly afterward. You can also see into the future! (maybe) This was a different view than Blink because it didn't take into account how our brain works on the subconscious level, but it added a lot of useful information that I will use in conjunction with what I learned from Blink.
The main thing I got out of these was that psychology is complicated. Yes, it sounds stupid. But I did not know how complex our mind could be. We need to recognize that sometimes, what our brain does is not under our control. We should know that our brain is capable of much more than we think it is. We should be on the lookout for attempts to manipulate our brains. Also, we can't have just one philosophy for the way our minds work. Different methods work with different situations, and its important to know what works well when.
Overall, I am very glad I read this book and watched the documentary. After really not enjoying the BLA last term, actually getting a good book this time around was a pleasant change. I had read another Malcolm Gladwell book recently, so I knew that this one would be good as well. The documentary was done as part of BBC Horizon, which is a program (or a programme, I suppose, as it's British) that makes tons of wonderful documentaries, of which I have seen several, so I knew the documentary would be good too.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
I don't think this was the intention
In doing my test corrections, I don't feel like I am discovering mistakes I made, I feel like I am arguing as a devil's advocate for an answer that feels less correct than the incorrect one that I originally chose.
That being said, I am super-duper thankful that we have the opportunity to do test corrections in the first place.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
The Lesson I Learned
My essay sucked.
It took some major discomfort in class this morning for me to realize that. I can't necessarily speak for other students, but from me, thank you, Mrs. Cardona, for snapping me out of my haze. I thought my essay was fine. I knew it probably wasn't great, but neither were my others, and they got B's. But I was wrong. And after the blog post earlier today, I think I realize some of what went wrong (I'm pretty sure there were sentences specifically referring to me, even). I know I need to figure out how to fix it. I just don't know how yet.
I wish AP Comp was my only class. I wish I didn't have physics problems to do every night. I wish I didn't have a physics test to study for. I wish I didn't have a lab book to prepare. I wish I didn't have to do AP Government readings. I wish I didn't have to study for the FRQs. I wish I didn't have to practice any of my three instruments. I wish I didn't have a band concert tonight. I wish I didn't have a recital this thursday. I wish I didn't have a jazz band performance creeping up quickly. I wish I didn't have music lessons that expect major progress every week. I wish I didn't have college applications to do last weekend. I wish I didn't have to sleep.
I want to write a good essay, or at the very least I don't want to have written a crappy essay. I hate not meeting expectations. For as long as I could remember, the single thing that scared me most was getting in trouble. The fright has decreased as I've gotten older, but the guilt and disappointment are still there whenever I make someone unhappy. When the projector was turned on and showed the letter we had to write, I knew. It was a kick in the gut, a horrible way to start the day. But I have to say we, or at least I, deserved it.
I suppose the only explanation I can give is that I just had too many things. I wasn't able to give my essay the time it deserved as an essay, only the time it was allotted as homework. It didn't help that I had to completely change topics and start over after I had done the first draft and the peer conference.
The lesson I've learned from this, besides the obvious "my essay sucks", is that I simply can't do this many things at once. This whole semester has been proof of that for me. I wish I wasn't stuck in the middle of everything. But I am. I'll see what I can do.
It took some major discomfort in class this morning for me to realize that. I can't necessarily speak for other students, but from me, thank you, Mrs. Cardona, for snapping me out of my haze. I thought my essay was fine. I knew it probably wasn't great, but neither were my others, and they got B's. But I was wrong. And after the blog post earlier today, I think I realize some of what went wrong (I'm pretty sure there were sentences specifically referring to me, even). I know I need to figure out how to fix it. I just don't know how yet.
I wish AP Comp was my only class. I wish I didn't have physics problems to do every night. I wish I didn't have a physics test to study for. I wish I didn't have a lab book to prepare. I wish I didn't have to do AP Government readings. I wish I didn't have to study for the FRQs. I wish I didn't have to practice any of my three instruments. I wish I didn't have a band concert tonight. I wish I didn't have a recital this thursday. I wish I didn't have a jazz band performance creeping up quickly. I wish I didn't have music lessons that expect major progress every week. I wish I didn't have college applications to do last weekend. I wish I didn't have to sleep.
I want to write a good essay, or at the very least I don't want to have written a crappy essay. I hate not meeting expectations. For as long as I could remember, the single thing that scared me most was getting in trouble. The fright has decreased as I've gotten older, but the guilt and disappointment are still there whenever I make someone unhappy. When the projector was turned on and showed the letter we had to write, I knew. It was a kick in the gut, a horrible way to start the day. But I have to say we, or at least I, deserved it.
I suppose the only explanation I can give is that I just had too many things. I wasn't able to give my essay the time it deserved as an essay, only the time it was allotted as homework. It didn't help that I had to completely change topics and start over after I had done the first draft and the peer conference.
The lesson I've learned from this, besides the obvious "my essay sucks", is that I simply can't do this many things at once. This whole semester has been proof of that for me. I wish I wasn't stuck in the middle of everything. But I am. I'll see what I can do.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
AAAAUUUGGH!
After finishing up my revision, I have discovered that my essay goes ONE LINE onto a new page at the very end. Not even one full line, like half a line.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
My Goal
For my essay I am revising the very first blog post we were assigned—the one explaining our writing process. In this revision essay, I expanded the topic slightly, and I am writing an essay called "How Non-Writers Write".
It isn't too big of a topic change, as my writing process that I wrote about originally is definitely the writing process of a non-writer, but I am rewriting the entire thing from scratch. (It still counts as a revision essay, though, not a new essay, right?)
My goal with this essay is not simply to get a good grade. I would be lying if I were to say I would have written this essay if I were not required to for school, and I would be lying if I were to say the grade I get on it doesn't matter to me, but for the first time I actually somewhat care about what I'm writing about.
My mission is to show what writing is like for those whose mission and inspiration is only to get a good grade. What it is like for those whose brains just don't work the way that writers' do. I want to raise awareness. The fact that this is an essay assigned for a writing class is important.
I'm a non-writer. As a result, writing is a special kind of torture for me. Even when I am inspired, I hate every bit of the process. Especially in a writing class, I'm not sure many writers are really aware of the struggle that people like me are forced to go through in class and outside of class. I'm a math guy, and I know that I don't understand as much as I would like the ways people struggle with math. I know I would like to find out that kind of thing from those people. So I am doing it for what I struggle with.
It isn't too big of a topic change, as my writing process that I wrote about originally is definitely the writing process of a non-writer, but I am rewriting the entire thing from scratch. (It still counts as a revision essay, though, not a new essay, right?)
My goal with this essay is not simply to get a good grade. I would be lying if I were to say I would have written this essay if I were not required to for school, and I would be lying if I were to say the grade I get on it doesn't matter to me, but for the first time I actually somewhat care about what I'm writing about.
My mission is to show what writing is like for those whose mission and inspiration is only to get a good grade. What it is like for those whose brains just don't work the way that writers' do. I want to raise awareness. The fact that this is an essay assigned for a writing class is important.
I'm a non-writer. As a result, writing is a special kind of torture for me. Even when I am inspired, I hate every bit of the process. Especially in a writing class, I'm not sure many writers are really aware of the struggle that people like me are forced to go through in class and outside of class. I'm a math guy, and I know that I don't understand as much as I would like the ways people struggle with math. I know I would like to find out that kind of thing from those people. So I am doing it for what I struggle with.
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